Remmy comes to terms with the vivid invasive thoughts he’s been having as he and Knockoff explore an abandoned water park.
Sometime, somehow, in a place that defies the word ‘somewhere…’ Remmy Higgins—that woe-be-gone art-school-dropout—got himself lost. Hunted by apparitions of his troubled past and the insect god who feeds on them, Remmy just wants to make it through this liminal hell. But how do you go forward in this place where stopped clocks are always right? Remmy must either find an answer to this question…or spend an eternity, lost and wandering through “the Backrooms.”
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TRANSCRIPTS & CONTENT WARNINGS:
Full transcripts are connected to each episode via Simplecast. You can find them under their corresponding episode page, here.
CW: Alcoholism, grief, depression, extreme supernatural fear & distress.
FOLLOW US:
CAST:
Kevin Cooley as REMMY HIGGINS.
Neil Behlmaier as KNOCKOFF.
Featuring Allyson Blinkhorn as THE NARRATOR.
ARTISTS & CONTRIBUTORS:
Show artwork created by Heather Vaughn.
Vocals for “Dataloss,” the outro music for The Backrooms: Silverfish, were performed by Maddie Sue.
EPISODE 3: WATER PARK
Scene 1: Remmy and Knockoff in the Concrete Halls
[Door opens—heavy]
REMMY:
Hey…
KNOCKOFF:
YES.
REMMY:
This is…the 172nd stretch….since we stopped seeing wallpaper…and got…all this concrete instead…
I never thought I’d miss that piss-yellow carpet, but…I’m getting kind of scared…
KNOCKOFF:
AS I SEE IT, YES.
REMMY:
The signs all say ‘’Exit’’ but…there’s nothing about what we’re exiting….or where we’re exiting to…
KNOCKOFF:
IT IS DECIDEDLY SO.
REMMY:
I…actually miss the carpet beneath my feet. This concrete…is so…monotonous. Every strand of a carpet is different, if you really think about it…like…like the way the texture changes between one apple to another, you know…but this really is all the same, isn’t it?
KNOCKOFF:
MOST LIKELY.
REMMY:
…There’s a stick figure guy on that sign…you see it?
KNOCKOFF:
YES.
REMMY:
I’ve seen about 4 or 5 so far, but…I don’t know, I don’t think they opened into anything different than what I’ve already seen…
KNOCKOFF:
AS I SEE IT, YES.
REMMY:
I think…I think whoever put this together…you, maybe, for all I know…was approaching the limits of their resources right around here…it was all offices before, but…all this feels like it should open into a docking bay or a…loading area or fire escape or something. I think we’ve gotta be on the borders of whatever the hell all this is…
KNOCKOFF:
DON’T COUNT ON IT.
REMMY:
You know…that’s the first time I’ve actively wished you were a me.
[Remmy opens another heavy door. The ambient noise indicates that nothing has changed–they’re still in the concrete hallways.]
REMMY:
Damn it…
173…at least, I think. Could be 183 too…I might’ve dropped a ten somewhere…
KNOCKOFF:
CANNOT PREDICT NOW.
REMMY:
Yeah, well…when you can, let me know…
KNOCKOFF:
DONT COUNT ON IT.
REMMY:
Don’t worry…I wasn’t…
I’m….getting thirsty…I really need to ration this water…
KNOCKOFF:
DON’T COUNT ON IT.
REMMY:
Is that your way of telling me there’s a set amount of food and water in here for me…?
KNOCKOFF:
ASK AGAIN LATER.
REMMY:
You sure I need to do that?…It was right when I was getting hungry earlier I found that desk full of snack crackers and cinnamon buns…can’t exactly say it was nutritious, but whoever…used…or prepared…that desk….well, they sure had a lot of office snacks.
KNOCKOFF:
YES DEFINITELY.
REMMY:
Tccht…so that you can speak with authority on how many snacks they had, huh?
KNOCKOFF:
CONCENTRATE AND ASK AGAIN.
REMMY:
…hold up…there’s a side door. Oh….oh my god…there’s a side door…holy shit….oh god, there’s a side door!
KNOCKOFF:
SIGNS POINT TO YES.
REMMY:
All this concrete…there’s never been a door like this. It…it doesn’t have a handle…it’s just kind of there…I think I’m gonna have to pry it open…
[Gets his hammer from the bookbag. Remmy begins to pry.]
Damn…this thing hasn’t been opened in so long…whoever painted this door painted right over the crack…between the door..and the frame…all this paint is, like…gluing it together…
KNOCKOFF:
AS I SEE IT, YES.
REMMY:
I haven’t seen a paint job this shitty since I rented my first apartment after college, and—
[Door comes open. We hear the sound of water flowing in the distance.]
REMMY:
Oh….oh my god….I, uh….ooooohhhhh shittt.
I guess I understand why you told me not to worry about water now…
Scene 2: In the Waterpark
REMMY:
This….this isn’t a science experiment or anything like that…is it?
KNOCKOFF:
VERY DOUBTFUL.
REMMY:
I…uh….to be honest with you…I was hoping that it might be…because at least it made sense. I mean, it’s the kind of crazy bullshit that only happens in movies, but…at least I’ve seen movies….this is…I…I don’t know what this is….
KNOCKOFF:
BETTER NOT TELL YOU NOW.
REMMY:
Nobody could ever build a goddamn water park connected to…what, three, four days of trekking through an office building…nobody in their right minds…and it’s…it’s completely indoors…everything’s perfectly faded, like nobody’s touched this place in 15, 20 years…look at that frog-face tunnel…all the plastic so faded…
My mom used to infuse strawberries into green tea…and that frog is… weird and desaturated…just like what she’d throw out when she finished the pitcher…
There is no goddamn way….just….just no way….
If this is an elaborate practical joke, I’m suckered…you got me. I no longer think that…that’s possible.
KNOCKOFF:
CONCENTRATE AND ASK AGAIN.
REMMY:
What…you think I’m missing something?
KNOCKOFF:
CONCENTRATE AND ASK AGAIN.
REMMY:
…I know….I know, I saw the hideous silverfish…monster thing, okay? I saw it…I know, and I’ll…I’ll never forget it…but…look, there’s just no way that was really my Aunt Eleanor with it, okay?…she’s just…she’s a homebody…not to mention a busybody, and…I don’t know what I saw, I’ll give you that, but…I’m pretty sure she hasn’t left Ohio since Clinton was president.
KNOCKOFF:
MOST LIKELY.
DONT COUNT ON IT.
REMMY:
I’ll admit it, though…for a minute, I…I really thought someone was…I don’t know…someone had brought her here to play a…prank on me or something?
But…looking at all this…I don’t know. This, just…this is just here. There’s no reason for it to be here…there’s no-one who would go to the lengths of building something like this….just for me…
It’s official.
KNOCKOFF:
SIGNS POINT TO YES.
[Remmy walks through the water park.]
REMMY:
I’ve…never been to a water park after hours, before…or…beyond….hours.
KNOCKOFF:
IT IS DECIDEDLY SO.
REMMY:
It’s…funny…all of my memories of places like this are…thriving…buzzing with kids screaming, cheesy carnival music, animatronic cartoon voices…that generic beach surfing theme playing out of a shitty, grainy speaker somewhere…it doesn’t even really feel possible that a water park could be so…quiet…so still.
KNOCKOFF:
IT IS DECIDEDLY SO.
REMMY:
Do you think…do you think I could ride one of the water slides?
KNOCKOFF:
OUTLOOK GOOD
OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD
REMMY:
Heh…that’s a fun way to tell me to piss off…
I just…I don’t know…all these lights on the water…all the neon shadows in here…it’s beautiful…and I’ve been walking for days…and it really…makes me wanna do something stupid….
KNOCKOFF:
DON’T COUNT ON IT.
REMMY:
Don’t count on my doing something stupid, or don’t count on my not doing something stupid?
KNOCKOFF:
DON’T COUNT ON IT.
OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD.
REMMY:
Yeah, that’s what I thought…it could be dry at the top…the last thing I need is to get caught going down a dry water slide in the dark, huh?
KNOCKOFF:
YES.
REMMY:
The lazy river is still running…something electronic has got to be pumping that through, right?
KNOCKOFF:
AS I SEE IT YES.
REMMY:
…well…only one way to find out where it goes, huh?
KNOCKOFF:
AS I SEE IT, YES.
[Remmy grabs a tube from the stack on the side]
REMMY:
Jesus…they left them all stacked up…like they were expecting hundreds and hundreds more kids tomorrow…
KNOCKOFF:
SIGNS POINT TO YES.
[Remmy gets on the plastic float. We hear the sound of him jumping into the water.]
REMMY:
Woo! Oh god, that’s…actually not as cold as I expected…Jesus…who pays to heat a water park that hasn’t been touched in 20 years? It’s like…it’s like the sun has been baking this water…
KNOCKOFF:
CANNOT PREDICT NOW.
REMMY:
Man…it’s gotta be kinda frustrating for you…only being able to say the same twenty phrases…I don’t even know what “cannot predict now” even means as a response to what I just said…
[Silence for a second]
KNOCKOFF:
REPLY HAZY, TRY AGAIN.
REMMY:
…You’re actually thinking it through, aren’t you?…That’s what that means, doesn’t it?
KNOCKOFF:
SIGNS POINT TO YES.
YOU MAY RELY ON IT.
REMMY:
…You know, I was going to say that I pity you…for only having a few token phrases to say what you need to say…but I guess I’m not much better off, am I?
KNOCKOFF:
IT IS DECIDEDLY SO.
REMMY:
Ever since I…I saw that thing…that monster…I just…I just feel like I’m caught on a loop in my head. Like whatever that film was running behind its eyes…like, it just keeps taking me back to…something I’m just…I don’t know…fundamentally incapable of understanding. I feel like…like…like a computer that doesn’t have the drivers to engage with new software…
KNOCKOFF:
REPLY HAZY, TRY AGAIN.
REMMY:
I know…it’s a shit metaphor. But that’s exactly what I’m trying to say…that all I can do is…run my goddamn mouth…and it takes me nowhere…I’m just…[he splashes the water beneath his float]…treading water, you know?
KNOCKOFF:
SIGNS POINT TO YES.
REMMY:
Maybe that’s how Alana felt when Mr. Fitch read her diary…maybe she secretly wanted him to…a suicidal 7th grader, with nobody to help her with everything she was feeling…and in a last-ditch attempt her brain sabotages its own efforts to die by sputtering out some bad poetry in a diary she knows it’s only a matter of time before her teacher confiscates…
Except…she probably thought he would help…
And then he didn’t.
KNOCKOFF:
MY REPLY IS NO.
REMMY:
It’s so peaceful here…last time I went to a water park, I ran up one of those rope ladders…look over there…just like those ones: except they were the kind where the other kids can blast you with the goofy over-sized water cannons…with the girl I liked…we pretended the water was too strong for us to climb it alone and…and it gave us an excuse to hold hands…and here I am now, thinking about Alana goddamn Henderson, and her suicidal poetry, and I…I can barely even remember what it was like to climb up those ropes…
Alana’s parents probably never took her to a water park like this…this is where kids like me went…this is where the kids who never helped her and… the kids who pushed her around went on weekends as a reward for…nothing, really.
I wish she could’ve had that moment in my place…I didn’t deserve the life I ended up living…
KNOCKOFF:
CANNOT PREDICT NOW.
OUTLOOK GOOD.
REMMY:
If that second bit is you telling me not to dwell on it, well, I appreciate it…it’s okay, though…it’s not even my pain…
KNOCKOFF:
CONCENTRATE, AND ASK AGAIN.
REMMY:
I don’t know why I keep coming back to what happened to Alana Henderson…it’s so weird…I never even knew her that well, I haven’t thought about that in years…
KNOCKOFF:
REPLY HAZY, TRY AGAIN.
REMMY:
…thank you for talking to me…I know it’s just…a little electronic voice, but…I haven’t…I don’t know…maybe I’ve been a little bit too good at protecting my peace lately…I think I’ve talked more here…in this goddamn Silverfish’s nest…more than I had in months before…
KNOCKOFF:
YES DEFINITELY.
REMMY:
I wish we could say more to each other…
KNOCKOFF:
AS I SEE IT, YES.
REMMY:
Wait…what?
KNOCKOFF:
IT IS CERTAIN.
REMMY:
There’s…a way…a way for us to talk to one another?
KNOCKOFF:
OUTLOOK GOOD.
REMMY:
Woah, what? Why didn’t you say so—no, no of course you didn’t say so, but…ahhh..what is it? What is it?
KNOCKOFF:
REPLY HAZY, TRY AGAIN.
REMMY:
Shit…of course I have to do the legwork…um…have you given me any clues?
KNOCKOFF:
CONCENTRATE AND ASK AGAIN.
REMMY:
That’s not a no…but it’s not a yes…
KNOCKOFF:
YES.
REMMY:
And you could’ve said either of those things…uhh….okay, so I’m gonna take that as a “kind of.”
KNOCKOFF:
YES.
REMMY:
But…what…when…
WAIT! The other games! You…you had 20 Questions on there!
KNOCKOFF:
YES, DEFINITELY.
REMMY:
Oh my god! You have more speech functions under that, don’t you?
KNOCKOFF:
YES, DEFINITELY.
REMMY:
Oh my god…oh my god…
[He picks up Knockoff]
[The sound changes as Remmy shifts through a tunnel]
Oh shit..we’re going through a tunnel…goddamn, they didn’t backlight anything in the 90s, I can’t see what I’m doing…
KNOCKOFF:
ASK AGAIN LATER.
REMMY:
I know, I know…I’m just…impatient!
[The soundscape emerges…they appear in a new area of the waterpark. A fountain runs in the background.]
KNOCKOFF:
AS I SEE IT, YES.
REMMY:
Oh my god…”Yes!” Is right…god, look at this place…it’s like…it’s like a billionaire’s indoor pool and a sleazy water park had a baby…what the hell am I looking at? Look at that fountain…and those white tiles…oh shit, they go around the whole room around…god…
Jesus…my Mom never had enough money to take me to a place like this…but somehow it all feels…so familiar…
Man…
I’m…kinda nervous…to play 20 Questions…how weird is that?
KNOCKOFF:
MY REPLY IS NO.
REMMY:
Glad you think so…I guess…I guess there’s maybe just a bit of apprehension inside me about…knowing more…
But I’m going to have to know more if I’m getting out of here, huh?
KNOCKOFF:
YES.
REMMY:
Okay...20 Questions…let’s go…
KNOCKOFF:
IT IS DECIDEDLY SO.
REMMY:
And…and I’m just gonna…
[We hear a cartoony sound of a new game booting up…just as it goes off, we hear a massive THUD in the distance]
REMMY:
What…what the hell was that…
KNOCKOFF:
CANNOT PREDICT NOW.
REMMY:
That’s….that’s not good.
[The THUD repeats itself.]
KNOCKOFF:
OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD.
REMMY:
I think...it’s…it’s coming from that utility closet…is that what that is?...
[Another thud.]
KNOCKOFF:
DON’T COUNT ON IT.
REMMY:
Yeah, I think so…on the side of the river…that one, right over there…
KNOCKOFF:
YES.
[The THUD clarifies itself as a knocking.]
REMMY:
That’s not…that’s not the Silverfish…that’s human…
KNOCKOFF:
CANNOT PREDICT NOW.
OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD.
REMMY:
But you don’t know for a fact, do you? You don’t know for a fact it’s not a human?
KNOCKOFF:
MY REPLY IS NO.
OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD.
[Knocking on the door continues]
REMMY:
But it sounds like it…If I’m…if I’m not really alone in here…then…
[Knocking continues]
KNOCKOFF:
MY SOURCES SAY NO.
REMMY:
Yeah, but–that thing with Aunt Eleanor, I mean…I don’t know what the hell I saw, I mean…that could’ve been some kind of trick, or, some after-effect of what I saw in that Silverfish thing’s eyes…if they know anything about me, of course they’d know about my aunt, but…but what if…what if that’s really someone in there…
KNOCKOFF:
OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD.
REMMY:
I…Knockoff…am I alone in here?!
KNOCKOFF:
REPLY HAZY, TRY AGAIN.
REMMY:
Goddamnit, it’s an important question and I don’t have time to dawdle around for an answer! I’m not going to float on past what might be the only other person in this godforsaken place! Am I alone in here?!
KNOCKOFF:
CANNOT PREDICT NOW.
REMMY:
Yeah, well, I can’t work with that—I’m going to take my chances.
KNOCKOFF:
IT IS DECIDEDLY SO.
REMMY (somewhat wryly):
Glad you understand.
[Remmy hops out of the inner tube. The knocking from inside of the door continues.]
REMMY:
Hey! Is somebody in there?
[The knocking stops momentarily.]
REMMY:
Are you in there?…Is somebody in this closet?
[A tiny, quiet voice on the inside speaks up, very muffled]:
VOICE:
…Yes. Yes, there is.
REMMY:
Oh my god! Are you okay?
KNOCKOFF:
OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD.
OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD.
OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD.
OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD.
OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD.
REMMY:
It’s not the Silverfish, Knockoff—don’t worry! It couldn’t knock like that, or talk like that—this is a person. I can tell! I can tell!
[Remmy pries the door open. We hear the body of a person stumble forward.]
REMMY:
Oh my god, are you…are you okay? Don’t worry…don’t worry, I’m gonna help you…
MR. FITCH:
…Did I just catch you out trespassing in a local business after dark, Remmy Higgins?
REMMY:
What the…Mr….Mr. Fitch?! What…what are you doing here?!
KNOCKOFF:
OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD.
VERY DOUBTFUL.
OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD.
VERY DOUBTFUL.
OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD.
VERY DOUBTFUL.
MR. FITCH:
Shouldn’t…you be at home, Remmy? It’s a school night…
REMMY:
Mr. Fitch you…you don’t know what you’re talking about, it’s this place, it’s….it’s messing with your head…
MR. FITCH:
Remmy…you shouldn’t be here, Remmy…you need a pass if you’re going to be out here during class.
REMMY:
You being trapped in here too…must be why I keep thinking about that damn thing with the diary…
KNOCKOFF:
MY REPLY IS NO.
REMMY:
You know what, sorry, you don’t need to think about that right now, just…just: here, here, let me help you up…we gotta you somewhere safe…
[Mr. Fitch lunges at Remmy and attempts to bite at him—a monstrous sound, with curling, wet, teeth—emanates out from beneath the strange voice of Fitch]
REMMY:
JESUS! JESUS CHRIST WHAT ARE YOU DOING!
MR. FITCH:
You aren’t allowed to be out here without a pass, you little shit…where do you think you get off, mouthing off to me like that?
KNOCKOFF:
OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD
OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD
OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD
OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD
REMMY:
I know, I know Knockoff—let’s go let’s go LET’S GO!!
MR. FITCH:
Remmy Higgins…you’re wasting my time…that…is unforgivable…
REMMY:
Oh shit…oh shit, shitt…why does he sound like that?! Why…why didn’t I notice??
[Remmy trudges through the water, trying to get away from him]
KNOCKOFF:
OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD.
MR. FITCH:
What is that stupid little thing? Let me see it…you bring that trash onto school premises? Give it to me…give it to me, now…
REMMY:
…Did we lose him?…I…I don’t think he followed all the way through the tunnel…
MR. FITCH:
Running from your problems? Is that the kind of role model you want to be?
REMMY:
What…where…where is he? Is he up on the slides?
FITCH:
Is that really the kind of example you want to set…
REMMY:
Ahhh!!
FITCH:
For your…sister?
REMMY:
What…what the fuck did you just say to me?
MR. FITCH:
Don’t act like we don’t know…like we don’t all know that you’re responsible…
REMMY:
You’re a teacher…you’re a goddamn teacher why…why are you…
[Remmy approaches Fitch, but he vanishes.]
MR. FITCH:
What kind of big brother hates his own sister? Hates her that much…you know, Dylan Benson bullied her every morning in P.E. but…I bet she’d have traded him for you.
REMMY:
Wha…what…where did he go? Where…where did he go?
REMMY:
I’m….I’m gonna kill you!
KNOCKOFF:
CANNOT PREDICT NOW.
REMMY:
Why....why would he even know anything about me and…and Neysa…
KNOCKOFF:
VERY DOUBTFUL.
CANNOT PREDICT NOW.
REMMY:
…I loved her! You hear me?! Neysa was my sister…I’m not perfect, but… I cared about her!
MR. FITCH (In the distance):
Remmy…we all know what a piece of shit you were to her…we knew it far before your unforgivable failure…the choices you made…they were hard-wired into you…it’s just the kind of guy you are.
REMMY:
Where? Where is he…he disappeared! He goddamn disappeared!
HEY! HEY! Where is he…where is he…
MR. FITCH (As he speaks, his voice begins to multiply, and approach from different directions):
Someone like me can intuit that, you know? Someone who has to be locked up for 40 hours a week with a bunch of delinquents like you…when I could’ve been unraveling the mysteries of the human genome, if only I’d been dealt a better hand…and here you are, with a world of opportunity in front of you, blissfully unaware of the life you’re about to pour out in the sand, just for the thrill of watching it soak into the ground…well, in your case, I guess you really wasted two lives, didn’t you?
REMMY:
Where are you!….Why are you doing this?!
I can’t…I can’t…I can’t, I can’t, I can’t! I CAN’T!
MR. FITCH (suddenly next to him)
Get in line, Remmy!
[Fitch bites Remmy, hard, in the arm]
REMMY:
ARGHH! Ahhhaughhh, what, you…you….he bit me?!
[Remmy manages to toss him off, and keeps running]
Ahhh!! Ahhh!
END.
CREDITS:
The Backrooms: Silverfish
Episode 3: Water Park
Writing, Sound, Music, and Production by Kevin Cooley.
He also played the parts of REMMY HIGGINS & what haunts him: Something resembling Mr. Fitch
This episode also stars:
Neil Behlmaier as KNOCKOFF.
Featuring Allyson Blinkhorn as THE NARRATOR.
The outro theme song, “Dataloss,” features vocals from [Maddie Sue].
The show artwork was created by Heather Vaughn.
The Backrooms: Silverfish is an independent audio production, made for humans and by humans. Silverfish is free to listen to, but it’s not free to make, and it’s made possible by support from devoted fans like you. You can support independent audio drama by becoming a member of our Patreon today. Members of our Patreon receive perks ranging from ad-free versions of all episodes, to access to Kevin Cooley’s digital course: “How to Write Audio Drama”—and much more. You can find the link to our Patreon in the show notes.
You can also support the show by reviewing us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your podcast platform of choice, which makes Silverfish easier for new listeners to find. Follow us on Instagram at backrooms silverfish, as well as most other places on social media, to stay up to date on all things Silverfish. You can find links to all of our social media accounts in the show notes.
The concept of “the Backrooms” originates from an anonymous 4chan post, and has become a piece of well-known internet folklore. The original characters and concepts in Silverfish are the intellectual property of Kevin Cooley. The original characters and concepts in Silverfish are the intellectual property of Nightwhistle Media, LLC. Silverfish is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to real persons, dead or alive, is purely coincidental.
Thank you for listening, and stay safe out there folks. We’ll see you next time: here, where broken clocks are always right.